I’ve been getting a bunch of spam email recently from some online jeweler. Weird entries such as:
Dear VIP Members,
The Chrysanthemum Stone, or “Flower Stone,” is a beautiful and unexpected gift from Mother Earth, a symbol of optimism and joy, named for its near perfect representation of this cheerful flower. Chrysanthemum Stone was formed from geological changes in the Permian age of the Paleozoic era, 248 to 290 million years ago, from high temperatures and the compression of thick layers of organic-rich mud at the bottom of the sea.
Wear, carry, sleep or meditate with Chrysanthemum Stone to activate dormant skills, talents and potential abilities that lie within the Self. For those who feel they have missed their calling, or are unsure of what their gifts might be, this stone inspires, enlivens and enkindles. Use Chrysanthemum Stone for a smooth flow of energy in healing work to clear the aura and open the meridians of the physical body from the Base Chakra to the Crown. It is an excellent support stone for acupuncture, and exercises such as tai chi or chi gung.
So basically they’re trying to sell me a crystal that will potentially transform me into a Super Sayian or some shit… that sounds fucking legit af m8! Why would I sleep with a fucking crystal? Do they fashion crystal dildos? Is that what they use to get that smooth flow of energy they were talking about?
Does this also mean that if you accidentally sleep with jewelry on you’ll gain strange abilities? I would be a super mutant right about now, a fabulous mutant… this is jewelry we’re talking about. This might explain the watermelon related dreams a small tad.
There’s something that works way better for opening the meridians between Naruto chakras… and I’m not sure if they were smoking that in particular when they wrote this. :v: