Hail To The Strange Secrets Baby

Playing Ion Maiden last night made me feel nostalgic for some Duke3D. Forgot how fun this was. It had jetpacks, pig cops and aliens, rocket launchers and excellent level designs with secrets to find varying from useful to slightly disturbing:

Anyone familiar with Duke Nukem lore will know that aliens and saving babes is pretty much the premise of this series (this was the 90’s after all, you don’t need a compelling story to market a game), so finding a woman trapped in an alien cocoon is just something that happens. Still, that doesn’t make it any less disturbing. What really added to it was her begging to be killed. I know in Duke Nukem Forever the Duke’s twin slut girlfriends get captured by the aliens and placed in a similar situation, where they were not only trapped in the cocoon but also impregnated by the aliens (all kinds of yummy :/ ). I’m guessing this is why I couldn’t find any way to save this literal two dimensional woman.

There is your nightmare/fetish fuel for the evening. Time for me to head off to work!

Duke Nukem Forever was so horrible that Duke 3D got a multiplayer update

Oh well. I’m sure it’ll make some people happy. I may even give it a shot at some point. But yes, Duke Nukem 3D Megatron Edition got an update on Steam yesterday that allows people to play multiplayer together.

Again, not a bad thing. But methinks 3D Realms reeeealy seems to be scraping the bottom of the barrel.