You Are Not Hallucinating: Fallout 76 Has Private Servers For $100

I was forced to check my calendar today to see if it was April Fools day, as that would be the only day news like this should ever be allowed to be announced:

There’s never a dull moment in the world of Fallout 76, the online multiplayer game of post-apocalyptic survival and adventuring. Last week, publisher Bethesda announced that the game’s much-requested addition of computer-controlled characters was delayed until next year. Today, the publisher said that it will be selling premium subscriptions that will provide players with access to private servers at a cost of $13 a month or $100 a year.

In such a short time this game and other things surrounding it have garnered quite a bit history! I mean going all the way back to launch they’ve:

1. Shoved an unfinished multiplayer game out the door for $60 USD
2. Stiffed fans that purchased the Power Armor Edition of the game with nylon bags instead of promised canvas ones
3. Put Nuka Dark Rum up for pre-order for $80 and shipped it 4 months later due to delays, eventually receiving a low quality product that didn’t quite live up to the ticket price.
4. Produced Nuka Cola themed helmets that had to be recalled due to high amounts of mold
5. Announces they will release it on Steam later on after all
6. ???
7. PROFIT!

Now you might be wondering “What will the cost of what is essentially two AAA title games net me over the peasants that paid full price? (assuming there’s a store still selling it for anything above $24 at this point).” Well, it gets you:

So not only do they expect you to dump money on the base game, spend money on cosmetics, and essentially pay $100 for a private server that can only fit 8 people on it while being showered with imaginary currency. Oh, and icons and emotes?! That makes it fucking worth it! Alongside the exclusive outfit that tells other users that you’re a tool that spent $100 to rent what is essentially your own dedicated server, which used to be something game developers offered users to make for themselves… For fuck’s sake GTA5 allows you to choose if you want to play in a public/private or friends only mode, and that’s just playing the damned game! What’s next? Super Ultra Premium Servers that offer you 12 slots, two outfits and an autographed love note from Todd Howard? I have to hand it to them, they really know how to make people stretch out their wallets on a game that has essentially been a living clusterfuck.