DorK season

I haven’t even referenced or talked about DorK in months since he’s pretty much left my blog alone. Then a friend gives me this: http://mystonline.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=20776&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=135

DorK:

I’m done, I am fed up of this idiot getting his kicks from speaking for me …


Whil you need to stop … because I will not be the last person to call you an idiot. goats are not the only thing that matter!


You are not the only one who can write incoherent drivel as well you know …


http://overlordtomala.blogspot.com/search/label/DorK%20season


That did not go down too well with me, but least of all I don’t yet understand if you are involved … make my day!

Just because you’re too stupid to understand something doesn’t make it incoherent drivel. I would think you would know what incoherent drivel would be since by now you have a PHD in assclownology.

That’s right folks. DorK, our #1 goat fucker extraordinare has reared his head in my presence once again. THIS time at the MOUL forum where he was responding to JWPlatt’s comment in the thread about the shard that was ok’d but not ok’d by Cyan.

JWPlatt:

After some research – i.e. reading Tomala’s blog – I came to understand that she only speaks in Sarcasm. Once I finally understood that, her language is perfectly clear. I was shocked to have taken so long because I thought I could speak Sarcasm so well, but she is hands-down the master.

Before I put DorK’s comment, this is going to be framed and placed in my hallway…

DorK:

Don’t flatter her, her ego is big enough!

Did someone say goat?

I would like to let the rest of the community know that it would be impossible for my ego to get any bigger than it is. By watching my mentor Stephen Colbert I know that once it gets big enough it cannot get any bigger. Though I guess you can dream.

I leave you all with an egotistical quote.

“Screw the rules, I have shards.”

Ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to Chapter 2 of the DorK diaries. In the last chapter there was much verbal masturbation and a slight chance of resolving a war which was then shoved underwater to die a premature death. Now that all bets are off, it’s time to take off the kiddie gloves and have some fun.

And before I create this, I need to quote the last thing that was said in The DorK Diaries 2009 thread.

DannY wrote:

P.S. And to the wicked witch of this blog, I insist you cease calling him DorK. His name is DarK! DarK, dammit! As dark as the inside of his… well, shall we just say the boy is aptly named.

I still say it was a spelling error on his behalf that lead to his name being “DarK” instead of DorK.

I’ll make you a deal, when he stops being a DorK we’ll talk it over…

Ladies and gentlemen. DorK has come back! Rather than put his posts under the threads he posted on within this blog. I’m taking all his blog entries that await my approval and post them here so that no one shall miss out on a single drop of intelligence that he has to share with us. That’s right! He dug out his speak and spell and decided to pay me another visit!

Have a good read everyone. These posts have been taken from Postcard from DorK and Profiles in Asshattary

Fool me once, shame on you! Fool me twice, shame on you again! I am shameless!

Enjoy.

Today history was made. DorK started a conversation, then he ended it (with the help of veralun).

Whilyam wrote:

This is not yours to decide unless you start up your own shard or become part of the administration of a shard.

DorK:
Sorry what?! I was planning to be running shards, writing shards, and playing the shards. Come heaven and high water I was here to make as many contributions as I could to Uru

Yes, we’ve seen your contributions. It usually involves you pulling your pants down, squatting and grunting real loud. Then dropping your contribution on the community. Followed by you smiling smugly, pulling up your pants and walking away without wiping.

Whilyam wrote:

This community will develop based on what the community likes in general. This sort of passive-aggressive bullying will not change that and will in fact hurt the form of Uru you and I enjoy the most. So I’ll say it frankly: Enough. Stop acting like your opinion is the only one that matters.

DorK:

My opinion does matter though, and to me it is my only opinion, and I now take this stance because everyone else around here does, why should I be any different?

Shorter DorK: Opinions like mine aren’t being heard loudly enough, so here I am with my Air raid siren! Now our message will be heard!

DorK:

My only difference is that I state what I mean, instead of writing long essays that don’t actually mean anything, I am sick to death of reading mountains of drivel on a topic, when 3 lines would have done it

I could condense the last few posts down to a few lines saying why that person doesn’t agree with the OP

3 sentences instead of a long post? I think I can give it a try.

Short and sweet

1: I see your fingers are brown.

2: Your keyboard is brown, but it shouldn’t be.

3: I’ve come to the conclusion that you are overflowing with crap to the point of it spilling on the floor.

That was the short part, now for the sweet part:

DorK:

Anyway back to the point, I was stating … if we turn this game into second life, I might have as well gone and played second life.

Shorter DorK: I can haz Second Life?

DorK:

I believed that all I did was state fact, and make a request. If people can’t see that I posted, perhaps we should take the internet away from them from fear of them injuring themselves?!

So, how come you still have an internet connection?

Whilyam wrote:

While there are parts of Second Life,etc. I do not like, their implementation will be based on how popular that implementation is and not my preferences.

DorK:

Erm … soooo ?! What exactly are you saying here?

There are parts to Second Life you don’t like? You then seem to jump somewhere else about implementation will be based on how popular implementation is and that it’s not your preferences?

Eh!?

I read what Whil says, and I can understand it loud and clear. I read what DorK said, then suddenly I smelled something burning. It turns out my head spontaneously combusted. I had to dunk my head into the sink to make the pain stop. English DorK, do you speak it?

Whilyam wrote:

I know there are many people who like a wide variety of things about Uru and your post hurts that

DorK:

Erm no it supports Uru. If I play music from Uru loudly, and you play music from second life louder what is going to be noticed more, Uru’s music or Second Life’s?

Lets see, right now I’m standing between Whil and DorK. On one side I’m hearing all kinds of good music, rock n roll, jazz, pop, rap, he’s got a bunch of music to include everyone. On DorK’s side I’m hearing Lunatic Fringe.

Whilyam wrote:

So I say to those who are rightfully-offended by DarK’s post: Ignore it.

DorK:

Please do … I rather be ignored and shown to be right, than paid attention to and be proven wrong.

Actually, there is nothing I can do to this line that DorK has done to it already.

Whilyam wrote:

The version of Uru you settle in can and likely will be whatever you want.

DorK:

But then you won’t be playing Uru. I head into “Your My Uru” and ask to explore an age, the reply I get would probably along the lines of “Age what’s that, but hey you can decorate things in your home grid, try out this colour on your garage! Or if you move the sofa in front of the house, you get a free banjo”

You might be a British redneck if…

Whilyam wrote:

Please consider your idea/suggestion etc in relation to the fact that you are a human being and that you have as much a right to be here as anyone else.

DorK:

And please consider that I have as much right to state facts and request that people don’t walk on my lawn as well.

Here’s a fun fact. DorK has his head up somewhere, here’s a hint. It has nothing to do with the clouds. I can state facts too!

Whilyam wrote:

Uru does need many of the features/ideas from your suggestions.

DorK:

What suggestions?! That uru doesn’t need things for second life; please make your mind up.

I have a suggestion, how about all the people who think the way you do get your own shard. Everyone needs their own place, and you deserve your own (for everyones piece of mind).

Whilyam wrote:

If you are going to be suggesting we add a feature from other games, please stay here and debate the idea, and the feature you will be suggesting might become a feature of this game.

DorK:

All I want is a control procedure, some community officially stamped “cyan style” content, where I don’t have to shell out, collect items, or be in a special clique of friends to get access. And at 6 pm I want pizza served to me, at 7:30 I want my diaper changed, at 9 pm I want my nightly laxative dose. Then at 11 pm I want someone to come in and read me a bedtime story (Ernist goes to camp), give me warm milk and sprinkle talcum powder on me bum. At 7 am I want oatmeal, served to me via a spoon or a funnel. And at noon I had better see a fully stocked shelf of vasaline and cheetos in my bedroom.
I don’t want much here but to retain Uru and carefully add to it in a respected fashion

Improved.

Whilyam wrote:

Now is not the time to be alienating people, DarK. Now is the time to understand that people have different ways of enjoying Uru.

DorK:

No the time now is to stop walking around on egg shells, put all the cards on the table and be counted. Uru is full of non-committed people who are always willing to add a suggestion or twenty, and then complain about it when it doesn’t happen; many people seem to enjoy that somehow?

You seem to.

Whilyam wrote:

But not if you drive them away. You will kill Uru through your intolerance.

DorK:

I will kill my Uru experience though my own actions and take as many people with me as I can thanks very much.

Ohhhh so you’re a suicide coder. We do not submit to terrorists.

DorK:

To be honest, it’s really getting to the stage where I can’t be bothered any more. I am guessing I will have to see a vast improvement in co-operation, the ability for people to communicate things correctly and for a lot of people to get their heads out of their backsides to understand that they are not the only people in the world and that it doesn’t revolve around them.

Pfft another 30 minutes wasted…

First, you’re just jealous because you thought you were the one and only guy that had his head in his backside. Second, you can count? Wow! And tell time? There might be hope for you yet!

Today you accomplished something. You helped get your own thread locked. And that’s something.