>Life Goes On

Things happen for a reason, I suppose. Some folks may believe in coincidence, but in my experience, there is a connected reason behind why something happens.

Let’s suppose that your father dies of Lymphoma Cancer when you are only 14. Or let’s even say, your father dies of Agent Orange related complications when you are 8. Why does one person get to have more time with their father than another? Should you feel bitter every time Father’s Day rolls around, and you can’t buy your dad a card? The only gift your dad ever gets from you is a bouquet of flowers, and a new coat of carnuba wax on the headstone so it will repel the water and snow for the stormy months. Why do children have to experience a loss of a parent before they are grown? These are very deep questions that don’t necessarily have an answer, really.

So, let’s try a different scenario.

Let’s suppose your child passes away before you do. That’s not the way the circle is supposed to go. So, why does it happen? Every birthday and holiday since their death is marred with heavy sadness, anger, and more sadness. It’s not fair to lose your child, but it happens to people every day. Most of these people find comfort in the Compassionate Friends Support Group, because they all have something in common. Even people who don’t have any children come to these meetings to support their friends. I’ve been to one of these candle lighting ceremonies to celebrate the life of my niece who passed away. I also said a prayer for some dear friends that I know who have lost a child.

No matter if you lose your mother, your father, your sister, your brother, any family member, or even a friend you care deeply about. It’s an extremely hard lesson of life to go through. So, once again, why does it happen?

There’s got to be a reason why. True?
I guess some of us are searching for that answer. Some of us may have part of the answer, and are still searching for the rest of it. And perhaps you are tired of looking for the answer, but vow that this lesson will make you a stronger person. You tell yourself that you will persevere. Life’s too short, and you need to take what you can from that experience, and apply it to your life in a positive way.

For example. If you lose your mother when you are 31, then you have spent 31 years with your mothers guidance. Some people may decide to take the lessons they have learned from their mother while she was alive and apply them to their lives in a positive way. Let’s suppose your mother liked to knit and crochet. You decide to emulate your mother by picking up where she left off. It gives you a sense of peace, and a feeling that your mother is somehow nearby.

But… NOW, you have all these knitted things in your house. What do you do with them??
You could give them to family and friends. You could donate your items to a charity, like the Relay for Life. Helping raise money for Cancer Research. Because that is something that took your dad away from you when you were 14, right? Right.

So, you’ve had the negative experience of your mother passing away, and you’ve turned it into a positive experience by taking your skill and using it to benefit a huge group of people in need.
It makes you feel good to do that, and you are honoring your mother and father at the same time. Huge bonus there, right? Right! This could very well be the connected reason behind the ‘why’. Who knows, but it may sound good to this individual.

I do admit that if all the answers to my questions concerning life’s events were available to me, it would sure make life a whole lot easier to get through. However, I feel the things that are easily attainable in life, aren’t always the most rewarding. Working hard to get what you want is far more rewarding than having what we want just handed to us.

Every one of us has been dealt an unfair hand in life from time to time. And I mean everyone.
We can all relate to hardships. Not a single one of us is unique in that manner.
But, we take from that experience what we will. Whether you choose to make it positive, or negative, it’s all up to the individual. Life can be cruel, and life can be rewarding, too.

But above all else, life goes on.