For The Cost Of Three Gaming Laptops You COULD Buy A Used iPhone with Fortnite

In the wake of Fortnite being taken off of Apple’s storefront (and Creepy Uncle Google’s) there seems to be opportunists that want to fix that problem… by selling used iPhones that still happen to have the app installed for thousands of dollars more than what said phone itself is actually worth?

It’s bad enough if you buy a top-of-the-line used iPhone 11 Pro for more than what a Apple charges for a brand-new iPhone; it’s worse when you’re spending that kind of stupid money—again, thousands of dollars—on something like a used iPhone XR or iPhone 8 Plus. There’s a sucker born every minute, and in a perfect world eBay would have some kind of “common sense” test they would have to first pass in order to use the service.

I really shouldn’t be surprised about people wanting to buy used phones just so they can have the Fortnite app (after all toilet paper is still a currency in some places)… from the perspective of people that have more money than sense, and the technologically impaired that don’t understand how apps work, as the article goes on to make valid points that people should not be this stupid to ignore, but will anyway because of how fucked up we are as a people:

Even in a best-case scenario, you won’t be able to play the latest version of the game with any seasonal updates Epic Games throws into the mix. I have no idea how long you’ll be able to keep on playing an older version of Fortnite, but odds are good that even this window will eventually close.

Most Apps and programs require frequent updates (content, hats, security patches, etc) and if Fortnite’s servers are all run by Epic, then a version update will make that several thousand dollar black market iPhone as nothing more than a lesson that a fool and their money are soon parted. I mean just think… for one of those Black market iPhones you could have a few of these delicious rainbow gaming machines occupying your humble abode:

Or buy one, add drives to all four drive bays, and still have money left over to buy an entire warehouse of poptarts.