The stupid… It burns.

Do ghosts play Portal?

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Originally posted over at JAGB

Lets face it. Most of us who have played the original portal know all of the memes attached to the game and the series in general. “The Cake is a lie” being one of the oldest jokes in the book at this point. Not these S.P.O.O.K’s in Oklahoma though! Local news station KJRH has a special report that will probably make you laugh a bit if you’ve played the game.

Of course, at this point the video has gone viral (if you can’t tell by looking at the comments) and the criticism of the entire internet has reached their eyes. They responded on their facebook page with this:

In a response to our story on KJRH, we’ve been labeled ” clueless ghost hunters” by Jason Joe Wayne Blevins …personally, I take no offense, as he is focused only on one thing, the chalk board. At NO TIME did I or any member of my team make any claims as to a paranormal cause, only that the time and placement of this phrase on the chalk board were unusual. It’s sad, that these few individuals that throw their negative comments about my team around do not do the countless hours of evidence review, research, and time spent on sites. If this individual can do it better, or anyone else can do it better, get out there and DO IT.

It gets better! They also claim that the chalk board message was written two years before the release of Portal. Clearly it’s the ghost of GabeN that is at fault for all of these lulz.

“Yes, we’re familiar with both the game and the phrase… our question’s about the chalkboard are : why was it written there? What did they mean by it? And the fact that it was written 2 years before the game ” Portal” was released is interesting as well,”

Oh well… It’s a good way to publicize your service at least! I imagine GLaDOS is having a good laugh about this.

The constant flow of weirdness continues.

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At the end of the night I was treated to an unpleasant strip tease… A woman decided she didn’t need a fitting room and wanted to try shirts on. She stripped all the way down to her two bras. Security informed us about it, we told her to stop but she kept going anyway… Then she complained about it to someone else because how dare anyone not want to look at her double bra titties.

That is my weird report for the day. Tune in tomorrow for more WTF.

The most of my Friday The 13th.

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Ok, so after getting back from lunch I found out someone wiped their ass on a couple articles of clothing in one of the ladies fitting rooms (didn’t have to deal with it, we just threw them away)… then at the end of the night a lady wanted to buy a kilt. We don’t carry them and have never carried them. She seemed to be rather shocked about this and demanded to know if we even knew what a kilt was. I was oh so tempted to say “Uhhh, that’s what they wear in Japan amirite?”

Dumb fucks is dumb.

Talk about being scarred for life. Man brands his initals on a womans vagina.

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I know some guys think women are no better than cattle, but this is just fucking repugnant.

CHANDLER, Ariz. — A Chandler man was arrested for a bizarre crime — police say he branded his initials onto his girlfriend.

I hope his dick gets stuck to a fucking skillet.

Cyber bullying knows no bounds.

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One thing I can’t stand in any arena, albeit real life or gaming is bullying. Especially cyber bullying which in some ways can be worse than regular bullying. A regular bully has to confront you face to face, while a cyber bully is usually some socially awkward pimple faced douchecanoe who dwells deep within their mom’s basement, trolling teh internetz with creamed jeans and a cheetos stained crotch (you’re welcome for the visual btw). These people take to the internet and use it as their soap box to preach all kinds of stupid unto the web, where they gather followers in the pursuit of freedumb.

But enough about that. Lets get to the whole reason why I’m even writing this up in the first place. I follow a blog called Not In The Kitchen Anymore where a gamer shares pictures and audio of guys who instantly turn into knuckle dragging cavemen at the sign of a female. Recently she has received quite a bit of a backlash.

On July 26th, I was playing Black Ops 2 on my Xbox 360. Another player in the lobby took issue with me being there, and basically started attacking me over my gender. He kept asking if I was on my period, implying that I was fat or a lesbian, and making jokes like “Hey, ya’ll know why uh, women shouldn’t have drivers licenses? Cuz there’s no highway between the bedroom and the kitchen.” It’s all documented in this entry.

It started off light, then it just got outright creepy.

After the match concluded, he sent me a text message that said “slizzy” (which is, apparently, slang for “slut”). I replied, “Keep digging yourself into a hole dude.” He then proceeded to send me a voice message that said, “I’m gonna impregnate you with triplets and make you have a very late term abortion. Strict mental abuse. Hahaha.”

You can find a recording of the voice message here.

The responses to this weren’t much better.

So, when did pointing out peoples stupidity become crying for help? She has the right idea recording these nimrods and posting their responses. More people (women, men, anyone having some kind of sexist or racial issue) should look into this method just in case some wanker comes about to leave a steaming pile. I’m all for putting peoples stupidity on public display.

Heck, even I do that. Although on PC it can be more fun (depending on the game of course). I run a bunch of servers for my group that are available for the public, being that they’re public it obviously means that anyone is welcome to join. If the person who happens to join is being a thorn in someones side (ruining the gameplay, or just being a horses arse) it merits some fun admin trolling followed by a permaban. Unfortunately it doesn’t work that way everywhere, resulting in examples such as the ones this gamer is going through.

If only this happened on my server.

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One of the places I like to read is Fat, Ugly or Slutty. A blog that specializes in pointing out stupid things guys do to girl gamers. Most of the stuff that’s posted over there is from the XBox community, but today I saw this and had to laugh about it.

I would have had a blast if I was playing with a group of guys like that on my server… oh god, where to begin? Especially with stuff like this at my disposal?

Supertanks, Rochelle Spitters, Smoker Bill’s that’ll strangle you with their dicks. How many ways could I make them rage? 😀

Onto the rest of my weekend.

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Yesterday another Geriatric Tuesday passed. It was full of mean elderly folk who threw tantrums (knocking things over if they didn’t get what they wanted as of 5 seconds before asking) and people who are unaware of their surroundings (elderly and young). I had one old lady ram my ass with her cart, then demanded yogurt. She got short with me when I told her I wasn’t sure (she was asking me something that I didn’t know, wasn’t my department) so I offered to help her find someone from that department and she just stamped off. I followed anyway just to see if there was anyone around. One of my co workers was stocking something and she asked her, he didn’t know either but offered the same thing that I did. THIS time she was polite (probably because he was a young guy but I digress).

Then there was this one dude that comes in from time to time. He pushes his little cart like he’s going to die tomorrow, and almost hits customers whenever he’s in the store. I had to help him find cookies that he said we didn’t have because he was too busy tweaking out to stop and READ THE FUCKING DISPLAY OF THEM.

If I ever get like that in my old age I hope someone has the right mind to drag me out into the street and beat me with a sack of hammers.

To these people the words love, care, and empathy have no place in a dictionary (not that they would bother reading one).

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So I’m sure quite a few of you heard about the shooting in Colorado. One of the things that happened during the shootings was brave men giving their lives to save their wives or girlfriends. As tragic as it is, it was also very noble, honorable and heroic of them, and they will be remembered for it. This asshole of the century on the other hand has a different perspective.

So… These men lost their lives and these women lost the men they loved, and James Taranto is hoping they’re worthy of anything? What the hell is wrong with these people? I’ll bet this chicken shit would run out of the theater screaming like a little bitch.

I hope that one of these days that these women hopefully visit him to show him how “worthy” they are. Jesus Christ, of all the people that deserve to be drug out into the street and beaten with a salty glass covered club… People like him have no love or care in their heart.

Another reason why I’m not a fan of facebook.

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Not that it would affect me in this particular situation.

Link

Washington Facebook Voter Registration

OLYMPIA, Wash. — Facebook users in Washington state will have something else to brag about to their online friends: that they registered to vote on Facebook.

The secretary of state’s office said Tuesday it will have an application on its Facebook page that allows residents to register to vote and then “like” the application and recommend it to their friends. It’s expected to launch as early as next week.

I read about this and thought it was one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard. Do any of these morons realize facebook keeps tabs on everything? Oh wait… We’re too fucking lazy to care.

I’m sorry. I’m not the kind of person that likes it when places like facebook or myspace keep tabs on everything that I do. Yes I understand that people use it also to find jobs or keep in touch with family. It’s just stupid that places like facebook use that sort of thing to exploit people into giving them their own personal information so that they may sell it for a profit. If anyone registers to vote via facebook they get whatever they deserve.

I’ll keep my blog and email thank you.

Some people…

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I was helping a customer tonight. Felt really sorry for her.

I had to go out to our bottle return area to help do a hand count since the machines were rejecting their cans (happens frequently). And as I walk out there I hear what would either be her husband or boyfriend yelling at her to “get in the fucking car” then calling her expletives like bitch and cunt. Upon seeing me he shut his hole for whatever reason (thank god). Felt really sorry for her. I made sure to be extra nice to her. I don’t care who you are. Man or woman that’s no way to be treated.