Ruining It For Everyone Else Since 2004
>Tales from the DarKSide

>Tales from the DarKSide

We all know why this blog was banned from the Mystblogger community.

The DarK Wars. The battle between Tomala and the dude known as DarK — a.k.a. DorK.

Words were fired like missiles. Insults were batted back and forth like badminton birds in some titanic game of shuttlecock.

And somehow, it was Tomala’s fault.

It’s true, she did whipsaw some choice invective. Some would say the war went over the bend, around the curve, up the flagpole. But only a few people know the reason.

You see, Tomala knew DarK in the days before he was DarK. They were more than friends. They were like big sister and little brother, counselor and counseled, teacher and student, pilot and passenger. He was one of Tomala’s students in her online Sunday School outreach minstry, The Online Path ( Known then as Raoul, a teenager from New Mexico, he showed promise as a bringer of grace, a soother of souls — the sort of enlightened peacemaker that the Uru community so desperately needed. Under Tomala’s tutelage, he was about to become an emissary of light during MOUL’s dark days.

And then a friend emailed Tomala the terrible truth: “Raoul” was not a 17-year-old student from Albuquerque, he was a forty-something adult from Britain. He was not hungry for enlightenment, he had a history of acts with farm animals too lurid to be detailed here.

After such a shocking betrayal, can Tomala be blamed for going a bit ballistic?

In the traumatic aftermath, her life fell apart. She shut down her online outreach program, threw away her entire collection of Little Ponies, gave up her vegan vows and binged on Big Macs for three weeks straight. Wandering despondently through a mall bookstore, she came upon a copy of “500 Dirty Words for Online Warriors.” It was a life-changing experience for a person who previously washed out her own mouth with soap for saying “fudge” and “pack” in the same paragraph.

What the community saw on this blog was just the tip of the iceberg. To this day, the very sight of goats or sheep gives Tomala flashbacks. Hearing “Bah-Ram-Ewe” sends her into tears. Even wearing wool makes her break out in hives.

Currently working with experts in post-traumatic recovery, Tomala is gradually emerging into the world “After DarK.” As a result, in the months to come the Mystblogger community will see a kinder, gentler I Am Uru and So Can You.

Now that the Mystbloggers know the truth, will they reach out the hand of tolerance and beckon this blog to return to the bosom of their community?

We shall see.

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Melon Seed
April 15, 2009 4:40 pm

“threw away her entire collection of Little Ponies” – URK!! The horror!! The horror!! I sensed the evil of DorK, but I had no idea his betrayal would compel Our Beloved Overlord ™ to an act of such unspeakable, nigh unforgivable despair. I weep.

Melon Seed
April 27, 2009 12:14 am

It’s a shame that you failed to see that you could draw a line to end it.Still, reading through the above post there seems to be a showing of some humility.Its been rather interesting to see the knock on effect its had, what with your blog been removed from MystBlogs.Strange how one thing can change another?

GuildMaster Grand Poobah Shogun Comrade Divine Saint Overlord Tomala
Melon Seed
April 27, 2009 12:22 am

Sorry can we reschedule one of these asshat meetings? I never seem to be on time due to having a life. In fact looking over your schedule it’s amazing how you can still find time for me.DorK’s schedule:8:00am: Wake up.8:03am: Have mum come in to remove my mean catheter by cutting through all the nasty rubber bands on Mr. Happy.8:05am: Have Mum dress me for the day.8:10am: Have Mum re-dress me for the day, this time getting my shorts to face front. Oh, Mum.8:15am: Clean socks off ceiling with Mr Crowbar.8:30am: Parents gone, steal Mum’s dildo, insert in Mr. Billy’s… Read more »